Regional Heats by Fester Bryan

They had entered the regional heats
Reginald and Blane
The ladies offered coffee, and biscuits and hair.
The regional heats were near Hereford
A long way from the Oxfordshire Home
So, a night out to remember for the large rats.
They ventured into the nearest bar and stayed until closing.
All had vanished by half past nine
Save for Reginald and Blane
Playing away on a sticky wicket.
Reginald had the regional hots for Martha barmaid Mrs.
Blane lied and told her that R was in Prison and out on day release.
So Reginald retreated marsupial back into his pouch of many colours.
Away day next day and the sun shone on the bald spot.
The game was over in less than a speed chess.
Martha was working again in the bar from over there.
They popped in for a swift half a natters piss.
Gold dripped from their pockets as their legs froze in a cool box.
Reginald talked of the regional heats and the losing streaker.
Much ado about bugger all.
Love blossomed right there, and then, Oxfordshire in its entirety loomed up
And spat its message loud and clear across Herefordshire.
"Time for Home ! Time for Home"
You pair of rapscalious rascals !
Two men in a bow tie and boaters
Limping down the chestnut drove
Crossing the Marshmallow hedgerows
In a desperate search for Old Music Hall gags.
That they will never find.
Daisy Daisy give me your answer do
I'm crazy like a frog
For You