I've Been Away by Fester Bryan

Did you miss me ?
I've been away
Away to Mandalay
Not really

I was gone though
Metaphorically speaking
In tongues
So to speak

I got lost in the jungle
Of which it is very similar
Sometimes
And it makes me wonder

On my roller skates
Of joy,
With my mission bells
And Vicars collar.

What was I doing in Heaven ?
On roller skates ?
When Old Fat Cat
Had a roller and big cigar ?

So anyway, I was away,
On holiday in St Tropez,
With the bikini bottoms
And the bell boys.

We would take to the Hills
Every so often
For a quiet thunderstorm or two
Outside in the lost undergrowth.

Veeny would come and drive me
To the local town
Where we'd sit under a green tree
Reading Pigeon French

Ah ! Formidable
Est ce que tu connais ma mere ?
The locals loved us
And we liked the wine.

So spirited away too soon
I lamely got on a TGV and rerouted
My backpack to the hapless coridoor
And jiggered my way home.

So here I am
On your doorstep
You do not seem that pleased
Are you not going to welcome me in ?

Do I have to bend double
And peer between your legs ?
Is your cat afraid of me ?
Have you got a spare walking stick ?

May I use your phone ?
I want to speak with Veeny
Who has a cheque for me
He is in a local hostelry.