The Smart Arse by Lauren Beziers

Old Bill we called him
Solid build and choppy tempered
Played with the kids
At the temperance bar
Called us names and we didnt like that
Old Bill was a Feisty Smart Arse

Locked in battle with his demons
Drink and tobacco in vast quantity
Old Bill snacked on the talk he could get
At a railway station
In Gwent

I met him outside Wales
In a far away village called Wendens Ambo
It had the stately home of Audley end
And a station to Cambridge
He liked that little station
and the curved bus that trundled to
Saffron Walden

So, he says to me
You are you and me is me
And we are all together
The clock chimed three
And the late train was later still

I wanted to have the little blonde boy
That was mine
At home, sitting on my lap
While I write a piece on the computer
And drink my tea
listening to Talk Radio or a CD

But here I was with Old Bill
That noisy old fool
Coughing and spluttering his way
Through a pack of Handy Andies
And an ounce of Golden Virginia
With green rizlas

Oh to be at home
Without this beer guzzling nut
Carlsberg Special Brew advocate
And Arsenal fan
Of all the people in the world to chew the fat with
I have to end up with you
You git !

Ah! some espirite de vie my sweet
You protest too much
Let me tell you
In
A
Wor....d

Death overcame him and became him
I was befuddled and bemused

Good bye Old Bill

LB 2006