Gas by Lauren Beziers

Lingering around my nasal cavity
Threatening to seduce me
The invisible perfume
With intoxicating odour and mind bending allure.

The wash of the waves
In Crete splashed over my inner ear
Covering me in a spray
Of white horse sweat and creamy salt.

Now asleep and then awake
The gas flew me to Rio
Where I partook in gang football in a thong
With hot sand between my sparkling toes.

In a trice I appeared in court
With the fading judge unable to lift the gavel
The lawyers snored and the Jury crept away
And I sat prim and proper in my thick grey woollen skirt.

Mother, Father, rocking on painted waves
Drip dry animations with sea horses and seaweed
I call out "where are you"
They shout "none of your business !"

I wake and am sick
Make coffee I should not drink
Limp to the bedside cabinet for aspirin
And fall to the floor remembering.

LB 2006

Food For Thought by Fester Bryan

As I thought Mr Drew
Calm now
Do not follow through
Or at least take the time
To think again Mr Drew.
For can you not see ?
The meaning in the air?
T's Mr Drew dear
Look here
T'is Mr Drew
The artful sneaky Mr Drew.

So now the Mr Drew
Do you want to go out and think on all this,
Or would you like to sit,
Sit in the chair I bought for my grandmother ?

Take your spindly legs off
Off to the supermarket
And fill your trolley
With the goods that you can purchase
In the aforementioned Supermarket.

For I understand that in a place
Such as the Supermarket, Mr Drew
One can purchase items of food in great quantity
Or small amounts depending
On the circumstances of ones arrival.

So in Paris or London
Brighton or Munich
One can enter, Mr Drew, the supermarket
And purchase items of food that are delightful to eat
So, where does this leave us
Mr Drew?
I think you know, do you not ?
I wish you to leave and ponder the thoughts that you know so well.
And then Mr Drew You can buy some foodstuffs at the local Supermarket
Some of which, no doubt, you will enjoy.
So be off, Mr Drew
Get away with you.

Be quick of mind and body
And leave me in peace, Mr Drew
For I have much to think about
While you are gone.
Such as "which way do I go to reach the opposite end of the spectrum ?"
And "Which way do I go to reach the underside of the other me that inhabits my other side"
And " When is the pastry cook not a pastry cook ?"
And "If I sleep for a quarter of a day, what do I do for the other three quarters, Mr Drew ?"
This I will ponder and chew
Mr Drew.
Chew on the bone of contention between me and you , Mr Drew
So go – be off and away,
Gallop into the sunset on your fine steed,
Get to that modern place,
The Great halls of food.
And get the food of your choice from the supermarket, Mr Drew
Be quick
For to be quick is to be clean and sharp
So be rapid in thought and in action.
All around will admire, Mr Drew
The speedy responses you can give to those small niggling problems
That crop up from time to time
In the course of the normal day.

Be away
Time to ponder
Eat your food
Once it is bought with
The hard earned cash
Mr Drew
Goodbye
And
Au revoir
Mr Drew
See you
Anon

Oldy Worldy Nicey Nicey by Fester Bryan

Oldy worldy nicey nicey
Chocolate fudge and lovely oldy worldy butterscotch.
Oldy lady in her lacey,
Sherbet Lemons, humbugs and gobstoppers
Tizer nice and Corona
Two pence back on the bottle.

Ye olde shoppe then
On the toppe of the open toppe bussy,
To Devils dyke
To roll down the hill
Then home for curry, very nicey indeed.
Oldy worldy nicey nicey

"Ride a cock earwig" by Daisy Grace Durrant

Ride a cock earwig to Banbury shed
To see a fine Felix - stand on his head
Django has no trousers and Daisy's in bed
Ride a cock earwig to Banbury shed